I been reading over past entries.. and when I look back on things.. I find things I used to care about funny to me now. Its crazy how A LOT has changed over time. Anybody else ever done that? Read over old entries.. and just thought wow.. wtf was I thinking?
Life is good right about now. Got my permit finally. Saving money up to get myself a car. Getting my head straight in school. Got a god baby on the way =) sometime in May, a lil girl. Single Again but it's all good =) its for the better. Do not feel so smothered anymore.
Matt (viper now aka Lucky) is back locked up. Looking to face 2-5 yrs over some stupid shit. I wish that kidd would get his act together. But.. it seems like its not going to happen anytime soon. Been how many years? Still in and out of jail. I still keep him in mind tho. He got a baby on the way too =) a Boy.
Carrie leaving soon for New York. Moving in with her boyfriend this coming Saturday. She has a baby on the way soon too. Also due sometime in May.
Damn. All these babies arriving...
Would write more but it almost 1:30 and im real tired. Think im goin to start writing more in the journal =). Night Mindsay!
| How many boyfriends did you have your whole life? lost count |
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| Did you love anyone of them? yes |
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| Do you have a boyfriend now? yes |
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| If so do you love him? no |
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| Have you cheated on anyone of your boyfriends? yes |
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| Have any of them cheated on you? yes |
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| How old were you when you started dating? 4th grade lol but serious datin 15 |
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| Who was your most romantic boyfriend? Paul |
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| Do you still talk to you ex boyfriends? yes |
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| Do you still love anyone of the? yes |
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| Was anyone of them a badd mistake? no |
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| Do you wish you could take a relationship back? yes |
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| Is any of your ex's your friend now? yes |
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| Do you have real love now? no |
hurt
I miss my boyfriend.. A LOT Everythin seems too good to be true. But I'm realli hoping its not. I'm having a real hard time trusting him. Bc I've been fucked over in the past so many times. I'm jus tired of being hurt
& thats why I'm acting so cautious and jumping down his throat most the time about where he is and who he is with... bc all I can think bout is 'ohh he could be playin me'
I'm afraid to lose him. And I guess my insecurity plays a big role as well. I feel as if I'm not good enough for him. & I'm scared that he's goin to find better and just leave me.
But I can't seem to understand. I am so caught up on him!! & its hasn't even been a month!! Usually I'm not like this AT ALL!! Most the time it takes me a good while!!
It's not that I'm afraid of commitment... I'm afraid of fallin in love & gettin HURT again
I kno I'm not easy to put up with...
I jump to conclusions to easily
I can be a real bitch
gett madd jealous quik
I push the ppl I love the most away
I forgive but NEVER forget..
sometimes I talk too much
have a tendency of bringin things up that happened in the past when I'm hurt or upset
but somehow he seems to understand... and works things out with me.. instead of sayin fuck it!!
I think I'm fallin for him...
11-21-06
We have somethin ppl wish they could have
HatAz FaLL The FuCk BaQ!!
1. I'll Never Leave You.
because when you do, it feels like theres nothing to live for.
2. I'll Never Hurt you.
because when you do, it's 10 times worse.
3. I'll Never Lie To You.
when you do lie, it kills the trust.
So it starts again...